2014 Funnel Cake Top 100 Fantasy Football Rankings

How many mock drafts have you done? How many magazines and papers have you rolled over, uh we
mean poured over?

Dissatisfaction with the norms that usually come with fantasy football rankings each year led some of us here to make our own lists. You’ll find some surprises, some not so, but we all know that information is power. We are not clouded by the bullshit that comes along with polliticing in the golden age of non-sourced, big box media.

We’re fans like we’ve always been. We’ve been doing this long enough to say that yeah, we are experts -damn it. Take a few seconds to see what Matt Whitfield & Chris Meinecke are plotting with their rankings. 

Matt Whitfield AKA Fantasy FailHorn


Chris Meinecke

Chris Meinecke


The Situation with Stewart

by The Bad Baby

- The Bad Baby

– The Bad Baby

If you hate Tony Stewart, he is a murderer. If you love Tony Stewart, he would never do something like this on purpose and tried to move out-of-the-way. If you are indifferent, you must be a law student or lawyer ready to chomp at the bit, or keyboard trolling at least.  As I type this, the video of Stewart hitting Kevin Ward Jr is playing in the background over and over. I keep watching it, and my conclusion is this: “These were two unfortunate choices that ended in catastrophe when combined.”

Kevin Ward Jr exited his winged sprint car after making contact with Stewart and getting spun into the wall, rupturing a tire and ending his run. Ward narrowly is missed by another driver(the blue and white #45) as the caution flag has been thrown and cars are slowing down. He continues down the track, in a black suit, black helmet, and black shoes, on a brown dirt track, with dim lighting, pointing a finger at Stewart’s traditional #14. This is when it all goes wrong. Sprint cars are not driven like normal cars. You don’t turn left to go left. Winged sprint cars, on dirt, are driven with throttle more so than steering.  In order to go left, you turn right. This is exactly what happens when Stewart sees Ward at the last second, he hits the throttle to wiggle the car around him, but it fails and Ward is hurtled by 800 hp spinning the rear wheels.

At least this is what I see. If you hate Stewart, you see him trying to intimidate a driver by gassing it a little at him, and realizing the driver was not going to lose by playing chicken. If you love Stewart, Ward Jr should never have been on the damn racing surface in the first place.  No one will ever truly know what was going through Stewart or Ward Jr’s minds. It was a tragic day for racing across the country and no one should have to lose their lives before they can live to old age. Accidents happen all the time, and this one could have been avoided.

Hindsight is 20/20.

Live From Augusta

Matt Cassista

Matt Cassista


Loyal listeners I let you down last night. You were expecting your golf guru to fulfill all your questions and answers about the Masters and do to personal reasons I wasn’t even there. Have no fear though. I got what you need right here.
​For many such as myself, summer starts today as golf’s first major starts today (and baseball really starts to take swing.) I’m not going to waste your time dwelling on Tiger Woods either, as much as I love the guy….he can’t win it, there’s absolutely no need to talk about it. I’m going to tell you some guys who I think have the best shot though after watching golf every Thursday-Sunday for the past two months.
​A guy I’ve commented on a few times is youngster Jordan Spieth. He’s got the talent to definitely be a contender but he continues to lack focus when its crunch time. His name may not be in the forefront of this leaderboard but don’t seem surprised if he’s a top 10 finisher. When he is on, he is leagues above the field.

“​Hopefully your favorite to win was in that list and I crushed your spirits to some degree with those predictions.” 

​Another guy who has the talent and has got a lot of attention lately is Matt Kuchar, however I just don’t think the man has got what it takes to win the green jacket. As much as I hate to agree with Phil, Mickelson is right when you have to take chances and put yourself in winning situations. Matt doesn’t do that, he plays just fundamentally solid golf through and through. Two weeks in a row now he went into Sunday with a stroke lead and he has no 1st place finishes to show for it. He doesn’t close. I don’t want to be as harsh and say he’s a choke artist (nothing you can do when Matt Jones chips in for birdie in sudden death) but he’s not winning a major anytime soon if his attitude stays the same.

​Speaking of that left handed golfer I cannot come to terms with liking…Phil Mickelson is unfortunately do for another victory in the Masters. I’m not saying he is my winner or for that matter a heavy favorite….but he is coming off of a strong week in Houston and every 3 or 4 years he seems to put another major on his resume.
​Hopefully your favorite to win was in that list and I crushed your spirits to some degree with those predictions. It is time for my favorites now. I’ll start off with Jason Dufner who is real primed to win a tournament such as the Masters. People like Dufner win this all the time. Dufner is the type of player who is poised with soooooo much talent but his name never appears as fancy as Dustin Johnson who drives it 350, or Kuchar who shoots -12 every tourney, or even Rory who just flashes a fancy Nike sign on his shirt and hat. That was the story of Charl Schwartzel three years ago and Bubba Watson two years ago. These are guys who had the talent to lead the pack but completely blind-sided everyone when they came out the victor. Dufner is one of those guys. He’s 16th in the world ranking right now, he averaging under par with a 70.6, and he already has three top 10 finishes this year.
​The other guy who I have my sights on for winning the Masters this year is Patrick Reed. The cocky SOB is second in the FedEx Cup standings right now, his drive avg is hovering around 300 (though the man can split the fairway with 330yd bombs) and he has two tour wins already this season. In my eyes he is the strongest golfer on the field right now. Jimmy Walker may have more wins then him this season but he also does a lot more tournaments then everyone else and Jimmy’s flame has died down a bit in recent weeks. If Reed can get on a roll early and play with confidence, he’ll be locked in and hard to compete with.